Thursday, October 30, 2014

Depression


When Too Many Things Happen At Once

Its like the weather.

The wind comes from one direction and it meets another wind coming from another direction and the barometric pressure causes a disturbance of some sort and the temperature fluctuates wildly and the geese don't know where to go anymore and everyone wants to kill them for messing up their golf courses and it rains and rains and rains and then there is a drought and plants don't know how to grow anymore and people don't know who they are anymore and the sun isn't good for you even though it feels so warm and so wonderful.

But I stay in the dark. The sun hurts my eyes and the geese make me cry. All I want to do is sleep because too many things are happening at once.

Monday, September 29, 2014

The doctor is in.





When the doctor entered the examining room he looked like he was wearing a children's costume. He had one of those large round reflector things on a strap around his forehead. I'm surprised that he didn't have a little triangular hammer to test my reflexes and a box of pink band-aids. He was completely full of himself - as all doctors are - more concerned with making an impression on me than doing anything to really help.


Anyway, fast forward to the end of the exam.


The doctor took out a small hand held recording device and started to speak into it holding it closely to his mouth and waving it back and forth while he reported his notes. It was an incredibly absurd and obnoxious performance. He threw as many obscure medical terms around as he could, never looked at me even though I was sitting right in front of him, and talked faster than anyone I had ever heard.


I laughed out loud in the middle of it. I had started to imagine a dance. His recording would be the soundtrack and a dancer would move frantically and desperately around the stage, getting nowhere, and falling a lot.


When he was finished with his report, I asked him if I could have a copy of the recording for some choreography that I wanted to do. He didn't really answer me but looked quite perplexed. He had no idea what I was talking about. I laughed again, stood up, and offered to perform a piece of it right then and there, but I changed my mind when I saw the look of fear on his face and sat down again. Relieved, he handed me a useless prescription and left the room. I smiled to myself, and for once I was able to leave a doctor's examining room without feeling physically humiliated and psychologically eviscerated.  




Monday, September 8, 2014

I thought this poem today, and now I am writing it down...


 
I hear the wind
and imagine the trees 
are breathing.
The cicadas drone
like the music of India.
I sit with my dog
and our hearts beat
in synchronicity.
I think this may be
the poetry
of meditation.


Thursday, August 28, 2014

Putting An Outfit Together

I like the way things go together when they don't go together but you put them together anyway.  Striped bike shorts, a white lace skirt, red polka dot belt, multicolored sports bra, a lacy translucent top, and sports adventure sandals to finish it all off.  I think of dressing in the morning as my first creative act everyday.  Its a good way to exercise my imagination and express myself.  And when I am out and about throughout the day, strangers often talk to me.  It is like an invitation to a 10 second party.  We exchange smiles, feel a momentary connection, and then go our separate ways.  

Tuesday, August 12, 2014